well i found out why Amanda hasnt called me and hasnt been online and stuff, i assumed it was because of work but nope! Wouldnt that just be nice if it was only work but that would be too easy. She has been in the hospital for like 5 days because of a drug overdose. She cant have caffiene anymore, she cant have too much sugar, and now she's complaining. Well its her fault and the fact that she overdosed in the first place is really scary because more often than not people dont come out of there. And last night Ian's mom invited me up there for thanksgiving with them!! ISNT THAT FARKING SWEET? And i want to go because up there, is where i can actually relax, be me, and be loved for being me? Plus, Canada [in the words of weezer], is my island in the sun. And when i'm up there, i'll never feel bad anymore. My mom didnt refund the tickets yet but she probably will at work and now i'm gonna have to beg and plead mercilessly to be able to go. of course she wont let me but I WANT TO HAVE THANKSGIVING WITH A REAL FAMILY! People that actually CARE about each other and dont just keep the black [purple rather] sheep just for the sake of their own reputations. knocky bastards....Plus i left my actual journal at home and its supposed to be turned in today....i am screwwed. And tired, and wearing pajamas all day doesnt really help my tiredness. And my mom is as bad as my dad, she got mad because she had to write me a check for hot lunch. How terrible, scribble down a number on a piece of paper....must be strenuous. fine, i'll starve, you always tell me i'm anorexic anyway. I have my so called family, and i need a vacation from my so called life.