?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

oh, snap!

Alright, all of this is a total *face-palm*. It proves that stupid people are abundant, and that we all may laugh at their expense. I would also like to thank The Dumb Network for making this... available.


Stupid Laws In Alabama... who would have thought?
1. Dominos may not be played on Sunday.
2.It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
3.You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
4.It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.

All the stupid laws for Alaska have to do with Moose and Airplanes. Enough Said.

Arizona's Asinine Laws...
1. Hunting camels is prohibited.
2. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
3. It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.
4. You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Arkansas... yeah Louis, I hear ya.
1.A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
2. Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs. [what is with animals and bathtubs?]
3. Oral sex is considered to be sodomy. [c'mon Bill, that just makes it worse.]
4. A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. [oh god...]

Legal calamities of Californ-i-a.
1.It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
2. Bathhouses are against the law.
3. Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses. [aww, how nice.]
more...

Colorado's Blunders...
1. Throwing missles at cars is illegal. [damn!]
2. One may not mutilate a rock in a state park.
3. It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.

Conneticut ... [I didn't need a book, Lynn.]
1. In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
2. It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.
3. It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
4. It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire.

D'oh! Delaware...
1. It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink. [define sufficient...]
2. It is illegal to wear pants that are "firm fitting" around the waist.

Florida's Follies...
1. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
2. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
3. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
4. It is considered an offense to shower naked.
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<a [...] http://www.dumblaws.com/laws.php?site>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<font color=#cc6cc><center><small>Alright, all of this is a total *face-palm*. It proves that stupid people are abundant, and that we all may laugh at their expense. I would also like to thank <a href="http://www.dumblaws.com/">The Dumb Network</a> for making this... available.

<lj-cut>
</center></font></small>Stupid Laws In Alabama... <small><i>who would have thought?</i>
1. Dominos may not be played on Sunday.
2.It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
3.You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
4.It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.

</small>All the stupid laws for Alaska have to do with Moose and Airplanes. Enough Said.

Arizona's Asinine Laws...
<small>1. Hunting camels is prohibited.
2. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
3. It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.
4. You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

</small>Arkansas... yeah Louis, I hear ya.
<small>1.A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
2. Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs. <i>[what is with animals and bathtubs?]</i>
3. Oral sex is considered to be sodomy. <i>[c'mon Bill, that just makes it worse.]</i>
4. A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. <i>[oh god...]</i>

</small>Legal calamities of Californ-i-a.
<small>1.It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
2. Bathhouses are against the law.
3. Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses. <i>[aww, how nice.]</i>
<a href="http://www.dumblaws.com/laws.php?site=laws&cid=184&region=5"><b>more...</b></a>

</small>Colorado's Blunders...
<small>1. Throwing missles at cars is illegal. <i>[damn!]</i>
2. One may not mutilate a rock in a state park.
3. It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.

</small>Conneticut ... <small><i>[I didn't need a book, Lynn.]</i>
1. In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
2. It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.
3. It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
4. It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire.

</small>D'oh! Delaware...
<small>1. It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink. <i>[define sufficient...]</i>
2. It is illegal to wear pants that are "firm fitting" around the waist.

</small>Florida's Follies...
<small>1. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
2. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
3. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
4. It is considered an offense to shower naked.
<a href="http://www.dumblaws.com/laws.php?site=laws&cid=184&region=9><b>more...</b></a>

</small>Why Georgia, Why?!
<small>1. It is against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
2. Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs. <i>[echo?]</i>
3. No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday. <i>[...]</i>
4. All sex toys are banned.

</small>Ha-HA Hawaii...
<small>1. Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.
2. All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.

</small>Idaho Idiocy.
<small>1. You may not fish on a camel's back. <i>[what's with the camels?]</i>
2. Residents of Boise may not fish from a giraffe's back. <i>[does this happen often?]</i>
3. It is llegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.

</small>Ill-fitted Laws of Illinois.
<small>1. You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
2. It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck. <i>[...]</i>
3. The English language is not to be spoken.
4. Bowling is forbidden. <i>[by whom?]</i>
<a href="http://www.dumblaws.com/laws.php?site=laws&cid=184&region=13"><b>more...</b></a>

</small>Inept Indiana
<small>1. One may not sniff glue.
2. Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
3. No one may throw an old computer across the street at their neighbor.

</small>Iowa = Idiots Out Walking Around.
<small>1. One-armed piano players must perform for free.
2. Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants. <i>[can they?]</i>

</small>We're back in Kansas, Toto...unfortunately.
<small>1. Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats. <i>[canoes, however...]</i>
2. Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
3. The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks. <i>[how could you?]</i>
4. If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed. <i>[uh...]</i>

</small>Kentucky Fried Fuckwits...
<small>1. One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
2. Dogs may not molest cars.

</small>Lenient Louisiana
<small>1. It is illegal to shoot lasers at police officers.
2. You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.
3. It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

</small>Maine's Legal Maladies...
<small>1. To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.
2. You may not step out of a plane in flight. <i>[good call...]</i>
3. Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.

</small>Mary[land], mother of God!
<small>1. It's illegal to take a lion to the movies. <i>[but he's just a little lion!]</i>
2. It is illegal to remove a public building by writing on it.
3. Oral sex can not be given or received anywhere. <i>[not exactly true.]</i>

</small>Massconfusion, I mean... achussetts.
<small>1. At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
2. No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
3. It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun.
4. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.

</small>Misguided Michigan...
<small>1. Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
2. No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
3. It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.
4. It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.

</small>Minnesota's licit Misfortunes...
<small>1. A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
2. Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.
3. The land of 10,000 lakes declares mosquitos a public nuisance.

</small>Murder(ing common sense) in Mississipi
<small>1. It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.
2. It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.
3. Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.

</small>Miserable Missouri... is too miserable to mention.

Monotonous Montana ...<small><i>no more alliteration. I promise.</i>
1. It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
2. It is illegal to annoy passersby on sidewalks with a revolving water sprinkler.
3. No item may be thrown across a street.

</small>Anything wrong with Nebraska is Faith's Fault.
<small>1. If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
2. It is Illegal to go whale fishing. <i>[if you can find me a whale in Nebraska...]</i>
3. Persons with gonorrhea may not marry.
4. A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.

</small>Nevada is hopeless. Here's proof.
<small>1. It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway. <i>[again with the camels.]</i>
2. It's legal to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
3. In the city limits of Elko, everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.

</small>New Hampshire isn't very New. Or sane.
<small>1. You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
2. It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
3. In cemeteries it is illegal to: get drunk, picnic, enter at night, and enter by one's self if that person is younger than 10.

</small>No mo' New Jersey accents, please.
<small>1. It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
2. If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
3. You may not slurp your soup.
4. It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.

</small>New Mexico, Ay de mi!
<small>1. Idiots may not vote. <i>[amen!]</i>

</small>New York Peppermint Patties...
<small>1. The penalty for jumping off a building is death. <i>[one would assume so.]</i>
2. A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket. <i>[...wtf?!]</i>
3. Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.
4. Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers". <i>[apparently this was a trend that needed stopping...]</i>

</small>North Carolina has some thoughts...
<small>1. It's against the law to sing off key.
2. Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.

</small>North Dakota ... *cough* FARGO!
<small>1. It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
2. It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon.

</small>Ohio... makes me think of Yatta.
<small>1. It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. <i>[again... locate me a whale in ohio... god.]</i>
2. It is illegal to get a fish drunk. <i>[HOW?!]</i>
3. No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July. <i>[sweet!]</i>
4. It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.

</small>Oklahoma is responsible for a bad musical and Hanson.
<small>1. Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.
2. Whaling is illegal. <i>[... WTF!]</i>
3. People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
4. It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots. <i>[ew.}</i>

</small>Oregon is rainy.
<small>1. Dishes must drip dry.
2. Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.
3. One may not test their physical endurance while driving a car on a highway.

</small>Pennsylvania sounds like Transylvania.
<small>1. You may not sing in the bathtub.
2. Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents.
3. It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.

</small>Rhode Island Tomfoolery...
<small>1. One must make a loud noise before passing a car on the left.
2. It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.
3. You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.

</small>I dont know anything about South Carolina.
<small>1. Railroad companies may be held liable in some instances for scaring horses.
2. Horses are to wear pants at all times.

</small>South Dakota. Uh... Yep.
<small>1. No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants. <i>[...]</i>
2. It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.

</small>Tennesee is blind.
<small>1. You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. <i>[owwww... it hurts! No ocean remotely near...]</i>
2. It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
3. It is illegal to dare a child to purchase a beer.

</small>Don't Mess with Texas... its stupidity will kill you.
<small>1. It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
2. It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
3. No person shall throw trash from an airplane.
4. Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator.

</small>Utah has a Salty Lake. And a lack of sense.
<small>1. Boxing matches that allow biting are not allowed.
2. It is illegal to cause a catastrophe.
3. It is against the law to fish from horseback.
4. It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon. You can own one, but are not permitted to detonate it.

</small>There is nothing remarkable about Vermont.
<small>1. Whistling underwater is illegal. <i>[and impossible.]</i>

</small>Meet Virginia...
<small>1. Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
2. It is illegal to park a car on railroad tracks.
3. Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated.

</small>Washington ...Avenue...every city has one.
<small>1. All lollipops are banned.
2. It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich.
3. You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length. <i>[how could you?!</i>

</small>West Virginia, mountain mama... take me home.
<small>1. No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."
2. One may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash.

</small>Wisconsin Cheese...
<small>1. Livestock have[sic] the right-of-way on public roads.
2. State Law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese.
3. It is illegal to play checkers in public.
4. You cannot "worry a squirrel."
<a href="http://www.dumblaws.com/laws.php?site=laws&cid=184&region=49"><b>more...</b></a>

</small>Why Wyoming?
<small>1. Using a firearm to fish is strictly forbidden.
2. You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
worthyopponent
Jul. 18th, 2004 02:23 pm (UTC)
My fault, eh??

Oh, man these are brilliant - I've seen some of them before. Expect a massive entry from me soon expanding on this topic. Hee.

When are you coming back from wherever it was you went? The concert was brilliant, by the way. And PACKED like no other. SEA of people, I tell you.
virtuistic
Jul. 18th, 2004 02:26 pm (UTC)
haha... amazing. Well, as I'm replying I've already returned and will shortly be endeavouring to catch up on all that i've missed on my friends ljs... It's bound to take me a little while, but I am devoted. :)

You'll have to give me an account of the concert. I wish to know everything your brain has managed to capture. :)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

Latest Month

May 2013
S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow