What a fucking shitty ass day. Sorry for the massive profanity its just today royally blows SEVERAL goats multiple times daily!!!! I'm sitting in band, a class that normally gives me joy and am i happy? Hell fuckin no! Why? Because my family sucks. We have fucking BAD health. My grandma is in the hospital right now getting an ultrasound for god knows why....they wont tell me. I was late for show choir, felt really bad cuz literally EVERYONE was staring at me. i want to bury my face in the sand. My aunt paulette is having some really bad problems with her leg that she broke...doesnt help that she's a fucking diabetic. My cousin is in ruins because her mom is trapped in New York. Alive and well and STILL bitchy but cant get out of there. Ian might not be able to come down here...17 days ... ` wimper. I FUCKING MISS HIM!! this is so unfair and aggrivating and just ... RRR! He keeps calling me every night, and i want to call him a few times so he doesnt have to pay for the whole god damned phone bill cuz that isnt fair.! tooo much shit going on. I need to go to work tonight, which should be horrific. I need to talk to robert and i feel like i have about a 50% chance of walking out of there w/o a job. And i need $$$$ To go to Europe and to go to Florida and to buy ians present and to go up to see him and to buy phone cards to talk to him and ugh. JUST FARKING SHOOT ME!!!! and shoot fucking xerox while you are at it. Or i just might if he looks at me one more time or includes himself in my conversations or follows me around or does that gay ass sigh that makes me want to fucking break his fucking face in!!!!!!!!! Oh yay! Now he is wandering back and forth in front of this window so i see him....PISS THE FUCK OFF!!