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And in the absence of sanity... I write.

And here I rest... where disappointment and regret collide.

So, I'm puzzled. I am supposed to go over to Chris A's house to chill... I finally got ahold of him last night and we had a good convo. I'm supposed to try to go over to his house sometime soon. Bike Ride stylee, it'll only take me about a half hour but it's like, 80 degrees before 11 and I'm a little against passing out from heat stroke. It's happened before and it's just not a pleasant experience. My mom has the day off and I wanted to ask her if she'd just drop me off over there on her way to madison, but ... she has disappeared. I want to chill with the christoker though, I miss the kid. I have to re-do the board at the coffee house tonight too with britney, that'll be fun. *gag* I got drug to Frosty Freeze with her and Ellie and had to watch them play stupid flirty school girl with their "male interests". So, I sat in the car while they were stealing each others keys and playing keep away and called Matt and tried to cheer him. It didn't work very well, and it's kinda got me in a somber mood. Which is why I think I need to get out...and re-evaluate things from a less defeatist perspective. I'm supposed to go see PoA at the drive-in with an assload of people tomorrow after work... but I dont know if I want to? I suppose for Harry I can. Just... not for The New York Minute afterwards... I might have to kill myself. However, I need to take a shower and hopefully that will bring me some mental clarity. Then I'll probably don some summer clothes and attempt to bike to Deerfield. Then when chris goes to work I'll finish making Matt's patch, and hopefully have a plan for this "happy letter". He said he's working on a hand-written letter for me. I'm excited... i am gonna need the money for him for the CDs too. but I trust him. Anyway... Shower time.

" Television has raised writing to a new low. " - Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974)

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