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slung between a neurotic and an iceburg....

This town, I have no idea what the hell it is about it... it's not extraordinary, maybe it's just too painfully mundane, but it has terrible mental effects on me. It breeds stasis, the weather doesn't even change. Before the road construction there was nothing to do, and now that main street has been obliterated it merely intensifies the situation. Extremely menacing vibes, sense of forboding, severe desire to flee... this place raises the hairs on the back of my neck. I can't sleep well here at all, I really think my insomnia is because of my anxiety here, and the fact that my nerves are always at the highest frequency.

I dont know what it is, but this area just sucks the hope right out of me. Happiness and optimism are so fleeting. I was happy earlier today too, we had every seat in the coffee house filled with a member of The Red Hat Society and they were all so adorable and kind. I was amused by the fact that the creek is rushing so quickly and is almost up to our dumpster... I've been entertaining the thought of it being swept away... and yet, before I even left work I wanted to just let myself fall into the creek and float.

Maybe I need to just take some days off. Not like I can... I work the next two days... and then Alyssa will be here no doubt suffocating me by refusing to give me the slightest bit of alone time. I want to see Cody... I need one of his hugs... I need something genuine. Someone that doesn't expect me to fix all their goddamn problems for them. Everything down here is bleached-blond, banana republic, picture perfect upscale-suburb, gossip oozing out of peoples' ears. I can't handle all this fucking plastic, all these fucking lies and slander and all these stupid fucking rich bitches looking down their noses at everyone and expecting their hubbies to buy them that new diamond necklace. I can't stand all these stupid shallow people, selfish, self-serving bastards. I hate serving them their coffee and pretending to respect them when I hear that shit that slides off their forked tongues. Someday I hope they will know that while I had my back turned to them while making their white chocolate mocha skim milk no whip that I really wanted to poison them. Right now, I just want to get so horribly shitfaced. Today seems like a good day to burn a bridge or two.

I'm not sick but I'm not well, and I'm so hot cuz I'm in hell. Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding. The cretins cloning and feeding, and I dont even own a TV. Put me in the hospital for nerves and then they had to commit me. You told them all all I was crazy. They cut off my legs now I'm an amputee god damn you.

I wanna publish scenes and rage against machines.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
worthyopponent
May. 22nd, 2004 09:42 pm (UTC)
If you've got the poison, I've got the remedy
The remedy is the, erm...

the SPAM! GO!

*chases you*

I spam because I care. Also, I will get coffee at an unpretentious independently-owned coffee house tomorrow, for you.

Feel better. Don't get drunk and fall over and die. It's forbidden, you know.
virtuistic
May. 22nd, 2004 09:44 pm (UTC)
Re: If you've got the poison, I've got the remedy
Thank you, i appreciate it. Will you scold my parents for me as well? The both of them are completely psychotic and wound up screaming about nothing at all tonight... I live in a nuthouse, I tell you.

And I suppose you're right... sandy and a couple others would be quite upset with me. *snaps fingers* Shucks.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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