I dont know what it is, but this area just sucks the hope right out of me. Happiness and optimism are so fleeting. I was happy earlier today too, we had every seat in the coffee house filled with a member of The Red Hat Society and they were all so adorable and kind. I was amused by the fact that the creek is rushing so quickly and is almost up to our dumpster... I've been entertaining the thought of it being swept away... and yet, before I even left work I wanted to just let myself fall into the creek and float.
Maybe I need to just take some days off. Not like I can... I work the next two days... and then Alyssa will be here no doubt suffocating me by refusing to give me the slightest bit of alone time. I want to see Cody... I need one of his hugs... I need something genuine. Someone that doesn't expect me to fix all their goddamn problems for them. Everything down here is bleached-blond, banana republic, picture perfect upscale-suburb, gossip oozing out of peoples' ears. I can't handle all this fucking plastic, all these fucking lies and slander and all these stupid fucking rich bitches looking down their noses at everyone and expecting their hubbies to buy them that new diamond necklace. I can't stand all these stupid shallow people, selfish, self-serving bastards. I hate serving them their coffee and pretending to respect them when I hear that shit that slides off their forked tongues. Someday I hope they will know that while I had my back turned to them while making their white chocolate mocha skim milk no whip that I really wanted to poison them. Right now, I just want to get so horribly shitfaced. Today seems like a good day to burn a bridge or two.
I wanna publish scenes and rage against machines.