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A Declaration

Alright, I'll say it. I hate the Twilight series.

Have I read it? No. I read a page -- a single page -- and could not make it through another paragraph because the writing is so catastrophically bad. I'm not anti-first person narration, so that's not the hangup. In fact, I really loved "You Don't Know Me" by David Klass, but I cannot abide starting two sentences in the same paragraph with a conjunction for no readily apparent reason. Commas are not accessories to gussy up an extraordinarily vapid sentence. They have a purpose. Dashes do too. Throwing them about all willy-nilly to try and make your boring heroine seem like she has complex thought by interrupting herself mid-narration is lazy, shitty writing and I honestly cannot believe these books were published in this condition. It's an insult to anyone who earned a passing grade in 8th-grade English.

Beyond that, let's just be totally objective about the story line. It's seriously not OK to be in a relationship with someone who wants to kill you. That is the antithesis of healthy. The fact that teen girls think this is an epic romance and are mooning (see what I did there?) over a homicidal vampire is pretty psychologically disturbing.

Also, from the movie I watched and the many excerpts and summaries I've seen, I think Bella Swan is a total bitch. I don't give half a crap about what color of sweater she's wearing or how much time she takes to get her hair "perfectly" straight. Just tell me she's vain -- as if I didn't already know because the entire story is basically her talking about how everyone else reacts to her as if she's something other than a boring teenage girl who is entirely codependent upon relationships to validate her existence. From what I can tell, she's basically a terrible person and it really bothers me that she actively slams completely innocuous teenage girls in her school based merely on physical appearance.

For my part, I fail to see how this saga is anything other than a giant Mary Sue. New girl moves to town and she's clumsy but smart and no one likes her but then the best enigmatic boy in school likes her and then a hot guy who's totally a werewolf likes her too! She's so amazing and special! I get it. Her milkshake brings all the bloodthirsty freaks to the yard, but they're sexy, so it's OK -- and this'll show all of Stephenie Meyer's high school tormentors that she really was exceptional in some way.

Except she's not. She's basically written the worst books in the history of popular literature from a technical, moral and literary standpoint. Preying on the insecurity of girls is always a great way to make a shitton of money, but the ethics of it really bother me. Sure, it's just fiction. Yet, as a writer who believes that fiction helps us explore and learn truths about the human condition, I do think there are problems with writing a series that glorifies a girl putting herself in danger for a pretty face -- even if that girl is stupid, boring, rude, and selfish.

On the bright side, if Stephenie Meyer can convince someone to publish her drivel, I feel a lot more optimistic about getting my novel published.

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Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
madkestrel
Jan. 25th, 2011 12:52 am (UTC)
Her milkshake brings all the bloodthirsty freaks to the yard, but they're sexy, so it's OK

Bwa ha ha ha ha!
virtuistic
Jan. 25th, 2011 09:09 pm (UTC)
Seriously. I understand the allure of the "bad boy" character, but ... the moody murderer who sparkles in sunlight? Not so much.
etzyofi
Jan. 25th, 2011 07:43 pm (UTC)
AMEN. A. MEN. jkhgutfgiyh
virtuistic
Jan. 25th, 2011 09:10 pm (UTC)
I'm sooooo glad I'm not alone in this. Twihard fans are scary and they appear to be very numerous.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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