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The Original Star Wars Trilogy

Okay, so these probably won't be actual wanklists... at least not so wanky as the last ones. More snarky commentary surrounding a Sci-Fi world that is now more or less absurd when compared to modern films and standards.

Although, I will ruthlessly attack the digital remastering.

As always, this will grow as the film progresses.
  1. Um, wut? We're watching this on HBO On Demand... and for some reason it sounds like VHS. And the colors don't exactly match up.
  2. HAHAHAHA. IT'S ALL MADE OF PLASTIC.
  3. C3PO is terrible at exposition.
  4. Apparently, in the 70's, rebels didn't believe in protective armor. Just plastic helmets and sweater-vests for the good guys.
  5. Darth! You don't get answers to your questions when you kill your informants!
  6. Do they really need to protect the 'troopers from being shot in the ass? Plastic butt-coverings? Really?
  7. Wow. C3PO is such a Negative Nancy. Also, why is R2D2 the most sane character in this entire series?
  8. Don't lie to me. Some of these droids were made with trash cans.
  9. George Lucas is possibly the worst director in the history of ever.
  10. Are you serious?! Were the CGI womprats really necessary? I think you'll find that the answer is no. Always no.
  11. Since when do light sabers leave blood?
  12. WHAT? They added a scene with CGI Jabba? And Han referred to that obese slug as a human being?? THIS IS HORIBLE. TELL ME YOU ARE OUTRAGED.
  13. Luke is unbelievably stupid, he repeats himself, and his voice cracks a lot. And he doesn't necessarily make sense when he speaks. "It's the princess from the message!" ... as if that means anything to anyone other than Ben Kenobi or the droids.
  14. I love how Ben Kenobi pretty much got off the Millenium Falcon and went straight to go die.
  15. George shoulda got these boys some fencing lessons.
  16. How long did Luke spend with Obi Wan? Because I'm not buying that he had a deep emotional connection with a guy he only knew for three days.
  17. I like how Anakin had a serious Mommy complex, and Luke has a Daddy complex.
  18. Yowza, Princess Leia's lips are perma-glossed.
  19. Aha, I miss the days when we didn't have to be politically correct. Days when you could call the fat guy "Pork"-somethin'.


These... I'm going to have to take one at a time. Yikes. Too much Lucas. Way, way too much Lucas. Now I remember why the last marathon almost killed me.

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virtuistic
Jul. 10th, 2007 03:52 pm (UTC)
lulz. I like your icon.

Also, agreed.
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