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[full article here]
In an incident on Sunday morning, a city employee found the partially submerged, clothed body of a woman in the channel between Lake of the Isles and Lake Calhoun.

Police are investigating the death as suspicious, but there is no indication of foul play at this time. The body, which has not been identified, was discovered about 10 a.m.



Um, yeah. That's about a block and a half away from my apartment.

**Also, I fucking hate the news sometimes. What the unholy fuck is "an incident"? Could we possibly be any more vague? Why is this language necessary? I was taught to write as if you're telling the story to your mother/grandmother. It's like they lifted this from the police report, and just published it as it was. I realize that's standard operating procedure, but it's pathetic. People don't want to read or hear that shit. It doesn't mean anything, and for all it isn't worth, it'd be better if they didn't say anything at all.

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( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
kpachayagolobka
Jun. 27th, 2006 12:38 am (UTC)
soooo, note to self: don't drink and wander around the lake...

crazyshit, man
_candynsweets
Jun. 27th, 2006 01:15 am (UTC)
That sounds scarry!
sixteenthnote
Jun. 27th, 2006 02:58 am (UTC)
Scary!! =( =( =(
kpachayagolobka
Jun. 27th, 2006 03:54 am (UTC)
agreed on that edit-- that's bullshit writing and I haven't even taken a journalism class!
nini_darko
Jun. 27th, 2006 04:02 am (UTC)
BOOOO! no good. careful you.

miss you.
worthyopponent
Jun. 27th, 2006 03:35 pm (UTC)
Also, don't start with the time element, you dumb bastard.
virtuistic
Jun. 27th, 2006 03:53 pm (UTC)
I know, right? Clearly, we should storm the Star Trib and correct Fox News.
virtuistic
Jun. 27th, 2006 03:57 pm (UTC)
Also also, if you're going to refer to the body as a body all the way through the piece, you don't need to iterate that it clearly has not been identified yet. Especially when you open the article with the name and age of the first drowning victim. Liek duh, omg.
(Deleted comment)
virtuistic
Jun. 27th, 2006 03:51 pm (UTC)
Well, see... that kind of language isn't necessarily official. Also, if that was the reason for using it, that's being redundant. Certain things are implied simply by saying a body was found. Of course the authorities are involved, because they'd be the ones to pull it out of the water.

Anyway, the news is not supposed to be abstract. The news should be clear. At least, that's what I've been taught.
promiseoftin
Jun. 28th, 2006 01:00 am (UTC)
"Police are investigating the death as suspicious ..."

As opposed to the common, everday body that floats up in the Lake? I'd understand if it were referring to, say, Echo Park in Los Angeles where it's not uncommon for hobos to drown daily but, eeeeek.
virtuistic
Jun. 28th, 2006 01:06 am (UTC)
DUDE, I KNOW.

I am so pissed at the wording of this article. See the above comments.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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